Monday, August 10, 2009

kaleidoscope

Awake to the world once again, finally able to see the colors of life once more. the deep hue of love has my imagination and interest for the first time in years. I am not in love and that hurts some. though the faded memories of those now gone causes emotions that ache to the bone. Still i miss the magical moments created by love. The time shared exploring hopes, dreams and goals. the excitement of working together to watch those things materialize the happiness that blossomed when we knew that together it was done. Love so much as been written and thought on the subject. so simple that children are able to do it from the start so complex that lives are destroyed when its gone. Of all the things i now can see love is one i enjoy the most, from seeing examples in nature and in the stores. I have come to understand that it does not complete any thing it only is a completion of what already exist. As i now look around i see so much more. moments,stars,flowers,bugs, sunset's, sky scape's, and rain drops. such simple things forgotten that make life what it is-a gift. every thing has a color that its born into gods own coloring book. t i am learning to see it page by page when i take the time. Today and for a while i am enjoying looking at the shades love and what it does. like the birds who bathe in puddles after the rain, love that is expressed by the grass before dawn lined with dew. love that is seen in dogs as people walk them in the twiligth before retiring for the night.

I am learning to feel love in art and nature as i walk and seek the happiness i found in holding those that are now gone.

the color i most noticed when i was able to see once more.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

eye of envy

i stare into haze of what could be my future, I envy how there lives seem so clear. My path covered with the fog of uncertainty. My fellows seem to receive the gifts i find only in my dreams.

the fates have not chosen such a brilliant sting for me.

i have taken the journey to purge my flesh hoping in the vapor my soul would be refreshed.

my ancient eye only woke for a moment and fated back to a distant place. what more can i do but dream and wait for my time to unfurl from the destiny that i believe awaits.

walking thought the stacks that hold words and images that comfort and fulfill most i am still left lost and empty. pondering what i have missed or forgotten to do. The day wanes on i long for dust an i lie down counting the seconds to another day done. I want to read the passages that have once lead to peace i want to know the promises others say have delivered a new awareness to their minds and still i am to tired to take the time to endure the moments that this would be done in.

I en-ve the past stages of my life i envy the path others are on i envy there contentment i envy what i have lost. in time i will be fine for now i am wiggling in the drab of my life.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

shards

LOst my notes and my memory, my young soul poured onto pages, tear soaked and heart broke, I wrote the the history of my misery and life. Now it's lost forever more, a scorned heart has no remorse as she hoped to rid her life of our past she burned my pages an erased the details of my younger days. the pages were my days wrote out as i cried over the pain and crumbled under the weight of despair. my pen was the refuge of the hell my mind swirled with an now lost forever more to the merciless hatred her heart burned with.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

confussion at day break

The sunlight parted the curtens and spread before me on the floor.

I woke with a start wondering if i had even begun to dream.

It only seemed that moments before i had decided to try and sleep.

Now with what only seemed the space of favorit dramacon i was being summoined into a new reality by the dawn.

I struggled to admit that another day was upon me, it seemed so far from possible were had the night and its rest gone so quickly.

Monday, May 18, 2009

blank space

TAO TE CHING

sixteen_1

empty your self of every thing

each entity must find a moment to empty out into blank space with no concern for form or content. in blank space the eternal must leave the mortal and enjoy eternity in cool quiet blank space, music is only formed by the silents between the notes-Dr. Wayne-