eye of envy

i stare into haze of what could be my future, I envy how there lives seem so clear. My path covered with the fog of uncertainty. My fellows seem to receive the gifts i find only in my dreams.

the fates have not chosen such a brilliant sting for me.

i have taken the journey to purge my flesh hoping in the vapor my soul would be refreshed.

my ancient eye only woke for a moment and fated back to a distant place. what more can i do but dream and wait for my time to unfurl from the destiny that i believe awaits.

walking thought the stacks that hold words and images that comfort and fulfill most i am still left lost and empty. pondering what i have missed or forgotten to do. The day wanes on i long for dust an i lie down counting the seconds to another day done. I want to read the passages that have once lead to peace i want to know the promises others say have delivered a new awareness to their minds and still i am to tired to take the time to endure the moments that this would be done in.

I en-ve the past stages of my life i envy the path others are on i envy there contentment i envy what i have lost. in time i will be fine for now i am wiggling in the drab of my life.